This feels kinda like a weird point in my life. I feel... relaxed almost, almost aimless, almost as if all of the things that I've struggled to do all these years has been achieved, but obviously that's really far from true. I've still got so much more to go, so much more to do but yeah... I think it's just that for the first time in so many years, the company that I've started and am actively running is actually turning... a profit?
Well, I mean the company overall is still kinda in debt from all the money that I gave/ didn't take from it, but yeah, this year has been pivotal in the sense that I'm actually able to start paying myself back, and not only that, we're actually kinda... busy yet not so with the jobs that we currently have.
To no surprise, 6 years teaches you a lot of things on how to run a company, even if it's not really the most successful of companies, at least not just yet.
Still, there's this wave of relief within me like... ah... I really don't have to worry so much, too much anymore. I think it just really goes to show how strung up I've been all these years trying to carve my own way in the world, to make a mark of my own, to at least reach existence, at least for now.
I think I'm just not really all that used to this feeling. Right now I'm using any of the gains that I've earned to help improve the standards of myself and my staff, give him bonuses where I can (he stuck around with me for so long after all) and just... take care of myself a little
The thought of being able to use company money to travel to different countries, visit different places to check out what their industry has to offer, whist simultaneously pushing my company and awareness and our growth as well.
It's a very weird thought and feeling. It's weird to be earning money, to be earning this much money doing what I do and what I love. Like working from home and running a full fledged business from home with no one else to answer to and just being self sustaining in itself is pretty crazy to think about, perhaps not abnormal since there's plenty of people who run their own businesses and are equally as successful, but for me this is very much a new feeling, a new emotion, so I find myself getting caught in disbelief over it, like I'm not really allowed to be so chill, something is wrong, am I missing something, and I look back in anxiety to check if everything is really okay.
it's relief, but it's also scary. Still, it's a good thing. It's nice to be able to buy myself and my staff company dinners, to pay for their meals in thanks for the work they've done, even though perhaps its me myself who is enjoying it the most, being thankful the most for it.
Yeah.
LevelUPKL is happening soon once again, and I'm already preparing myself for the event, making sure that I have (updated) business cards up and running and trying my best to get some more contracts to keep the company afloat. Maybe then I can even look into hiring new talent, to expand the team, become a fully fledged company.
One step at a time though.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and I still feel like I'm right at the base.
At least things are looking up and I can happily say that I am pushing forward doing what I love and making a life out of it.
Shocking, but awesome.
