Month of December has come, and I’ll admit that it seems to have come very quickly. Everything seems to be happening in this massive blur, and without me realising it, within a few days, we will pass into the year of 2016.
Between now and when I last posted, I guess that quite a lot of things have happened. For starters, today was the last day of Sharon at work. Gotta say that I’ll miss having her around, but in a way, I think it’s best this way. This company didn’t have much for her to begin with based on how she described it, and well, I think that the distance between us makes things a lot better. She’s been through a lot in such a way that she doesn’t know how to behave around people sometimes, and while I don’t particularly blame her, I gotta say that I’m not always perfectly comfortable with it either, given that I treat her as just a sister now.
The one thing that she did help me to do however, was put me into contact with this girl named Christine. She’s an interesting one to be honest. She and I seem to have a lot of things in common so far, and there’s not a lot about her I can’t accept, in fact, I think that the only reason I’m making them issues to begin with is because I’m nitpicking, or perhaps because I’m afraid.
This should of course come to no surprise though. It’s fair to say that I’ve been through a lot this year; more than I’d like to admit in fact. My love life has been quite all over the place in that sense, and now as it has before in the past, it seems to be heading towards a direction, choice of which if I choose to embark onto it or not; issue is of course, that the last few ones with Alexis and Steph has really left a bad taste in my mouth.
I have talked before on the idea of being ready for something. The more I think about it, the more I start to question if there really is even such a thing as being ready for something. We’ll never be truly ready for something. To say we’re not ready is to say that we fear, and perhaps in all honesty fear is normal. When I first started out with a lot of people as well, it was the very same thing, you’re never quite ready; the beauty of it is that uncertainty… but that’s also what makes it scary.
Anyway, my point is that I don’t know if it’s so much to do with feeling ready anymore as much as it is about doing what you feel is right or what you’re comfortable with. The world waits for no one. Time waits for no one. People won’t always wait for you to be around. If you’re uncertain then find out. If you want to know then go out and find out.
Will there be something between me and her? Who knows. Am I afraid? yeah absolutely. Am I still hurt from the events of the past? yep, it’s definitely there. Even then, will I let it guide me? Nope. Not a chance. As she says, I won’t give them the satisfaction of taking anymore away from me, and if I feel that I may have a shot at happiness right in front of me, you can be damned sure that I’ll take it.
Even the smallest steps are progress, and with that, we’ll see how things go between me and her. I can’t say that I know what’s going to happen next between me and Christine, but to me, that’s the beauty of it; not knowing and finding out.
hamster off and out
