Sick Sick Sick

Nearly 5am. Woke up from a lot of sleep today. Doing some laptop writing on the bed. Was quite sick today as well, like… vomited and stuff. I think I got food poisoning from the dinner the night before. I don’t think that it was the shared dished, because Denny and the other guys seem to be fine, so I guess it’s just the individual dish which I had. I kinda tasted it on the way up anyway, so possibly that. Maybe. Sucks though that you have flu and food poisoning at the same time :|

Alexis popped over today as well, even though I told her that I was sick. Honestly, I really feel like she’s getting more attached to me than I am to her, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. I still hope she remembers that we’re meant to be a fling though. I don’t know. I’m not really in any mental state to be in a relationship right now. I don’t feel like I want to be in one, I don’t feel like I need to be in one. While having someone is nice, I’m just enjoying just chilling and spending some time her and there with them. I’m not that interested with any obligations that may have to come with it… so I hope she understands that.

Man, my head is starting to hurt again. I think I’ll end it here then. I’ll go try and get some more rest and fully recover. Been nearly a week since I have been sick.

 

Hamster off and out.

Guilty… ._.

Today was a pretty interesting day to say the least. I had an outing with Alexis today, and what was supposed to be just a simple case of having her over, tuning up the phone, to make sure that it works well, passing off the laptop and just making out a little after, turned out to be a case of having her over for Christmas Eve dinner, together with the parents. Trust me, it was kinda awkward sauce as well. :< I didn’t expect it or plan for it, and it felt semi on the too soon side I guess.

Still, she dealt with it relatively well, and she was increasingly more lovey dovey with me after the whole thing, which was semi unexpected in that sense. Did I mention that today was the first day that we actually held hands? I know right :| and we’ve already made out before as well. Weird stuff. Holding hands with her was nice though. She was very gentle with holding mine as well, and she kept commenting on how much bigger it was compared to hers. She also kinda played around a little on my hand, which was kinda cute, sweet, and lovey at the same time. I know I’m not supposed to get more attached, but I sort of felt it a little bit more there.

The sad part however, is I think I got her sick as well :< I was, and have been just a little bit under the weather these few days, but for me, it’s nothing particularly serious. I take it in the side, and go on with the rest of my day, and even do things like go to the gym. It’s just that I push myself extra harder I guess. I think though, when sharing the ice cream with her just as I picked her up, she… kinda contracted from me, piling on to what she had before (and she wasn’t feeling on top of the world as well, but she was getting better). Either that or the kiss that we shared after, but who really knows :\ Still… She got down with a pretty nasty fever, even to the point of nearly vomiting… And I feel extremely terrible about it :< The thing is though, even then, she was lying on the couch back at her place (at the time), and she was messaging me, still being as lovey dovey, if not more. :< I feel bad. I feel bad, because it’s probably all my fault, and she still… loves me for it :< and she doesn’t mind it overly much. Well, she doesn’t hate me at least.

:\ I feel bad, but at the same time… I feel happy. I’m not sure what to feel :< Or maybe I just feel tired and sick… Could be that. As in literarily, tired and sick lol ._. I just took paracetamol pills earlier as well, so.. yeah….

I think that’s all for me for now, I should try and get some more rest before it gets too late ><

 

Nites blog.

Politics is messy.

Doing some writing on the laptop, because I’m tired as hell, and I’ve grown quite attached to doing shit on the laptop as well as doing shit on the bed. Feel like sleeping, but also feel like doing some writing before I finish up my day and head off to bed.

Today, I attended Joyce’s and Wilson’s wedding, I started the day with just 2 hours of sleep, before I headed off to Wilson’s house at 7am. Took photographs and shit, and followed them through the entire procession till about 12 in the afternoon. It was quite fun and I was quite happy for them I guess. It was all sweet and shit, and it does make me feel like loving once again, but maybe not that strong of a feeling for me to actually feel a lot of it.

Eyes were all painful as shit, because I stood close to the altar, that had incense burning the whole time, and it was seriously terrible for my eyes, but that was the best location to be in if I wanted to take photos of the couple :\ Oh well. It kinda paid off I guess. I had quite a few nice photos of the whole entire thing. Alexis was there as well, so I had fun taking photos of her doing al the shit as well hahaha.

I got back home, and then took a shower and slept for another additional 4 hours, before heading out again for the second half of things, the dinner procession. This is where things got a little fucked up I guess. See, me and my brother went to the dinner thing, and we both wore nice suits and shit to the event. Just so happened, we got ourselves placed on the tables with all the other relatives, namely the relatives on Wilson’s side of thing. They weren’t friendly at all I tell you. We went in and tried to mingle with them, I tried to break the ice and open conversation and be friendly, and all I got was terrible stares into my soul with dissatisfied faces. I mean, seriously. WTF. Not even a hello, no a hi, not any form of greeting, just stares on us.

It didn’t take long for us to just roam around and find other shit to do instead of staying at the awkward table, and it didn’t really take long for them to replace our seats with more of their relatives anyway. In the end, we were left semi stranded without a table to go back to, and that’s sort of where I stepped up and talked to Wilson and Joyce about the situation, as well as talked to Wilson’s mom and tried to phrase things a little nicer so that we got a different table. In the end, we did, and it wasn’t as bad anymore I guess. People were at least a lot more friendlier and hell, it was way closer to the stage. I can’t really complain about that now can I. Still, the night wasn’t particularly the most enjoyable one I guess. I pretty much did it out of my respect for the both of them, and I didn’t want to leave early either, because that would be just rude. I stuck it out till later in the night,and I feel it was the right thing to do.

I guess the other interesting thing is how Alexis seemed to be a lot more responsive to me as well, through the whole entire thing. It’s nice, even though I actually tried to avoid her and tried to heavily reduce contact with her. After all, she kinda mentioned how her sisters… didn’t really have a good impression of me, just by looking at my from far, and well… her parents seem very judgmental of me as well >_> which is highly terrible, seeing as they jumped to conclusions about things about me, not even having known or seen me in the first place. Hell, the funny part is that they know she has this nice friend who does stuff for her, and they don’t know that it’s me as well, one and the same person :\ I guess it’s okay I guess. I’m taking it slow at the same time, so I’m not particularly worried about needing to be on good terms with all of them… yet :\

Here’s another interesting thing that I’d like to write about, seeing as I haven’t seen it happen in a while. I noticed that Tze Ni hasn’t been reading this blog in ages, and frankly, I’m happy. That losing her laptop of hers while travelling may have just been the very thing that she needed to fully stop reading my blog altogether.It’s a good thing knowing she’s not reading it, though I still get a signal from UK from time to time, I suspect it’s Justin, due to the kinds of access system. Almost positive. Anyway, it’s a good thing. It’s hardly healthy for her to continue reading my blog even though she’s been in a relationship with another for this long already. What has it been, a year? yeah.

Yep. Anyway, I’m off to bed. I’ve done all the writing that I’ve felt like doing for now, so I’m good I guess hahaha.

 

Laters.

Been a While

Doing some blog writing. Haven’t really written in ages, and I’m deciding to do so now because well… I feel like it I guess. I’m writing in from my laptop that has the new SSD installed in it, and it takes hardly 5 second to fully boot into windows. I can’t say that I’m complaining at all hahaha. It’s a pretty fast and nifty machine right now.

Nothing much particularly going on in my life right now I guess. I’m just a little overwhelmed with work and things at times, that I find myself with not much time to do other things… that or my time management just sucks… that or I find myself picking on more things that I can chew on at any given time. I’m tempted to believe that it’s really the latter more than anything else. I have a bit of a habit I guess as far as things go. Oh well. I’m trying to knock it all off slowly.

I’m also really unsure with things with me and Alexis right now. She seems a lot more attached to me right now, and perhaps the way things unfurl, I am probably less drawn to her than she is to me. I feel a little bit bad about it, but as she said herself, it’s really not like we’re in a relationship or anything, so I suppose I don’t really have to feel bad about it. She wanted it to be a fling, and I guess to me that’s what it is. The problem with me of course, is that I really don’t know how to have flings, the closest I’m getting right now is just a pseudo girlfriend. It kinda works I guess.

Oh well. I may just start typing up my shit right now, finishing up this review write up that I was supposed to have written up ages ago. I’m a terrible procrastinator, but at least I feel that by working on my laptop, I’m less inclined to fuck around… I think hahaha.

 

Laters.

 

hamster off and out.

Fun.

WEELLL. That was an interesting night. I sent Alexis home today at a good 9am in the morning, and got home myself at a bout 9:30am. We had breakfast together as well. I still find it hard to believe, but I guess things got intimate last night, but not really what you’re thinking; no, no dirty deeds were done, get your mind out of the gutter haha. It was just… hmmm rather simple things to put it that way I guess. Simple, but nice :)

It started off simple enough I guess, we just sat around the computer, and watched like a few movies, before she asked me if I wanted to get a drink or two, to which I replied, sure, why not. I went and grabbed some downstairs, and pretty much continued to watch the movie while drinking on some whiskey. I guess the whiskey made me a little more bold, and think about it a little bit less. I like that it did though. Once the third movie was over, I kind of jumped on her and initiated to kiss her, this time a proper kiss, not some half kiss haha. We made out for a a while, before I realised that we were falling out of our chairs, so I relocated her to be bed instead, and got under the covers while we were at it, as well as shut the lights.

I gotta say though, that the way she kisses? hahaha, kinda weird and amateurish, but that’s what you’d expect anyway. She was a little bit like a goldfish at times XD A lot of unnecessary massive openness hahahaha. Still, it got quite heated and passionate, and I gotta say that I did enjoy it, especially since it was kinda followed up by slower cuddles while we were hugging each other, tightly as well I should add at some points. It was fun slowly laying kisses on her, as well as slowly kissing her on her nape and her neck. I still like the hugs and the spooning, and her sleeping on my shoulders though. Those were nice moments.

So where does things go from here? to be honest, I don’t really know. While we ARE dating, we’re not in a relationship, so I’m not expecting anything else to happen right now. She’s back in Malacca today, and she’s going to be doing some part timing there before she starts her uni, and so I don’t think I’ll see her as often anymore, though she is coming down this Saturday, and I may be possibly meeting her then, because she needs to send her computer in for servicing, and just so happens that I need to collect a motherboard that has just been done servicing.

Well, I know I do like her, but I’m not sure how things will go from here. As of such, I’m trying not to get into anything too serious as well I guess. I’ll take this as it was intended to be, just a fling for now. I don’t believe that it should be anything beyond that for the time being. Still, it makes me a happy chappy.

 

hamster off and out.