A Matter of C&C

Or maybe not really C&C as it is C. vs. C. Compatibility vs Chemistry. To me the answer was already though over even before the questions were asked really. Its something that I’ve come to understand throughout the time I’ve been together with her. The difference between two people doesn’t necessarily bring forth a bad thing. On the contrary, it’s my belief that it actually helps keeps life interesting. Its like asking me to date a person who knows how to talk tech or electronics or what not. Why the hell would I do that? If anything I’d like to be taken out of my normal lifestyle and shown something new and different.

Perhaps my views are different that way. Still, having had it asked this time around, I’m someone obliged to bring it back up and give it a 2nd chance at lingering in my thoughts. This time of course I resorted somewhat on hearing the stories of others, and pretty much what I’ve found has made nothing but reconfirm my own views on it.

Everyone is different no matter how you see it. A doctor and an Engineer, an artist and a businessman, a designer and an accountant, a programmer and an financial planner. Regardless, they still find that their other half completes them, even without having to relate to their every day life on every single level.

Though to that point, its not as if I’m out of tune with the world of business myself, as I find Apple’s uprising to such a profitable company in such a short amount of time nothing short of a business miracle, I’m intrigued by Marketing strategies and business mergers as well as buyouts. Sure its not on the same level as perhaps Microfinance but it surely can’t be that far off.

Besides, even if I’m in this kind of line of work, It doesn’t really mean that I have no use of business, on the contrary, its quite beneficial to my career as a whole. After all, what good is a product if no one knows of it.

Back on topic, my answer is still what it was when i first thought it over. It brings me to question more things now however. Like is this matter of Chemistry and Compatibility really the problem or just a guise for something else. How about along the lines of not wanting this for the fear of the pain again. Always a possibility.

Maybe there’s something wrong with me then. I believe that if there’s no pain or hurt or struggle to attain something, surely its not as valuable then. After all the best things in life are never easily attained. OR free…. at least in a monetary sense.

Scrambled Eggs

Life is confusing, make no mistake. One minute I find myself resolute, the other minute mind bent. But once again, most questions need to be asked.

If anything, right now I feel like a hypocrite. Saying one thing doing the other, or basically saying one thing, knowing damn well to myself I think the other.

On the other hand, I’m not sure what I really want anymore as well. Things feel good once again, I suppose. I mean feel, not necessarily meaning that they are, if you catch the point.

Still, once again I find myself on the not giving up bandwagon. Hopefully things work out fine.

Sergey Vasil'evich Rakhmaninov

Because I still remember the time when Melman meant something to you, as I hope it still does.

Up OST – Stuff We Did

Stanza, ripped from the soul

Nibbling into my soul,
Bit by bit, stripping the pieces of what I am
To the life I live, unknown to the now
Living, taking a small stride at a time.

Like a sad piano sonata played slow,
Every key exhuming the overwhelming feelings,
Each tune resonating within the soul,
Creating a piece known as my life.

The soft melody that rings in your ear,
The sad shifting within the heart
A piece that seems never-ending in its length,
The sound that hits me so hard

Yet no matter the message within the song,
I do not grow despair from its tune
To say I’ve gotten too familiar to this feeling isn’t wrong,
To say its already a part of me is true

A performance taking part in an empty hall,
The only light, dim, a spotlight in the ceiling
The piano’s hum reverberating off the walls,
Echoing back to the pianist, stringing his feelings.

Though even amongst this hall littered with none,
I find myself drawn more to the song
A sound, sad yet entrancing
One that takes my mind off the lonely hall

As the days past, I continue playing the same piece,
A piece that seems to strike deeper than it did
I close my eyes, swept away in its melody
Silently wishing someone would teach another to me.

Idle Thoughts

Its funny how things went to shit so quickly as soon as the proposition to contact her less during her exam period went into play. I have to say, the recuperation before that was going very well, with the webcamming with each other helping greatly.

Now with the "supposed” contact less because supposed to be studying, everything seems to be falling apart once more, and not only that, when its most needed. Truly, Keeping an LDR is not an easy task. No one ever said it would be anyway right?

The events that will partake in the next few days will be like unboxing pandora’s own forbidden chest. Unpredictable, and possibly deadly.

We’ll see. Funny how it just needs me to go through old pictures, messages and what not, or even remembering the good times for me to be happy. Ha. Maybe I’m way too self sustained for my own good.

After Midnight Project – Gone Too Long

Rescue me from a scene that bleeds
confusion and lack of anything
Keep telling me "One day They'll see"

It's 2 AM when I stare at the moon
And I keep on thinking about your room
And the look you gave me when I had to walk away

I strap on my shoes and I play the shows
I smile and I smile 'til my cheeks get tired
Then I walk outside, but there's no place to hide

I've been away for too long
To notice when something wrong
When something's changing
I've been away for too long
To notice a change in her body
A change and we kiss
I've been gone

The ice and the snow
The fire and the rain
The sun and the beach
It washes me away

I wish that time would take me back to you

When I get home will you know my face
Will you love my smile, will you feel the same
We'll just pick up where we left back in June
I drink every night and sometimes I smite
Take a pill to help me win the fight
But I think of us when I stare into the sky

I've been away for too long
To notice when something wrong
When something's changing
I've been away for too long
To notice a change in her body
A change and we kiss

I can't figure out what's wrong
I'm up and down
I can't figure out what's wrong
I'm up and down
I'm up and down

I've been away for too long
To notice when something wrong
When something's changing

I've been away for too long
To notice when something wrong
When something's changing
I've been away for too long
To notice a change in her body
A change and we kiss
I've been gone

One of those other things I remember

Just remembered this, told to me by my girl months back.

One falls in love NOT by choice, but by CHANCE
One stays in love NOT by chance, but by WORK
And NO ONE falls out of love by chance, but by CHOICE.

Remembered it as I was counselling a friend.

Thoughts of the moment

You know what’s the most difficult thing for me at the moment? Possibly the fact that i want to be able to at all times be able to be by her and give her a hug, and say that everything will be okay, just trust in me.

Reality says that I can’t. Logically speaking, okay, yeah maybe all the time is a bit much, but at least when she needs it. Kinda pulls the mood down for mw knowing that. Sigh, even if the best I can do is a phone call, or a video call, sometimes I know it doesn’t cut it.

Life is difficult, but hey, what’s the point of living if its too easy right?